Well, I'm back at it. After a brief holiday/winter hiatus, I have resumed my mandolin lessons and have started the next class, Mandolin 1 Rep, at the Old Town School of Folk Music. At the end of 8 weeks, I hope to have expanded my repertoire, improved my picking skills and beefed up my calluses. And if all that fails, at least it will be spring.The dynamics of this class are quite different: there are 12 students on the roster as opposed to a mere 3, and we meet for an additional 20 minutes (believe me, my fingers can feel the difference). I'm pretty sure that Mandolin 1 Rep is going to be the make-it-or-break-it factor in my mandolin career. There are definitely more experienced people in my class this time, and while it's good to have those to push you along, it's hard not to think of them as pushing you around. Every once in awhile, my competitive spirit kicks in and I think, I'm gonna do this thing, gosh darn it, no matter how much I have to practice. And then, in the next breath... argh, who am I kidding? I'm sure this battle is not unique to those learning something new. Sure, there are naturals, but most people are like me, right? This is the question I struggle with: do I have that special "something" beyond dedication, determination and practice (assuming I have those, of course), that will truly make me a decent musician? Is there a "something" at all? And if so, is it necessary for any functional musician, or is that "something" merely what separates the great musicians from the good ones? I guess when it comes down to it, I just want to know if it's possible for me. If I knew that, I would avoid the risk of wasting time and money. So, I guess I'm looking for a safe way to be a rock star without taking the risk of wasting anything. Boohoo.
This post sounds like the revealing ramblings of someone in therapy. That wasn't my intent, and despite what it may sound like, these thoughts aren't keeping me up at night. However, this does teach me some things about myself and our society, namely, I (we) expect FAST results and I (we) don't want to sacrifice a lot to get them. Of course, I need only look at the great artists of this age and those of ages past to realize how those expectations can only set me up for failure. So, I will play on.
2 comments:
Don't you worry Amy! You just keep picking, playing and practicing. Kudos to you for expanding your musical interests. It's a great opportunity to just do something different! I'll attend your concert/recitals anytime!
Love,
Mom
Learning a new thing is tough, for sure. And musicians whether good or great definitely have that "something". But those who even attempt to learn a new thing, I believe, have that "special something" that others don't. These people take up that something and just TRY.
Trying is sometimes the hardest part.
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